LOVE, AND BEING IN LOVE

William James, the author of The Varieties of Religious Experience, might have called it The Varieties of Being in Love, while Freud, who, like James, of course also wrote about faith, had a great deal to say about love, observing, for instance, that those who can't love are bound to fall ill. (1)

 


John Bowlby, in works such as Child Care and the Growth of Love, wrote how the absense of feeling loved is devastating for a young child. I have likewise personally on more than one occasion witnessed just how painful unrequited love can be, such as when one member of a couple who were hopelessly at war with each other tearfully said, "But I love you."

In cases of murder one of the first persons who fall under suspicion quite often is a close family member, usually the husband or wife, and detectives do so not without reason. They know very well just how close feelings of love and hate can be to each other. In his famous Wolf-man case history, Freud for instance observed that neurotic patients often tend to be ambivalent, feeling both love and hate towards the same person. (2)

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1. Freud, SE XIV: 85

2. Freud SE XVII: 26

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